russianchildatprayer: (Tasha fear stare)
russianchildatprayer ([personal profile] russianchildatprayer) wrote2014-04-10 04:53 pm

What's left of us (for [personal profile] broken_arrow)

The fire is spreading fast. The gamemaker wastes no time blowing up his arena, now that the winner stands.

She should be in the elevator already. The heat is unbearable, scorching the small hair of her arms where her uniform has torn, and stinging in countless ulcerous open wounds.

This one will scar.

There is no reason to linger. The other four are dead, she’s made very sure of that. Some put up a fight and suffered more than she would have wanted. But by now they all made it. They’re all relieved off what Dreykov still politely likes to call life.

All but one.

She could still end it. Her guns have drowned in that acid pool on the first day already and her last knife is stuck to the hilt in his liver. She can’t near him again if she doesn’t want to end up like him after all. But there’s enough rocks around. Worst case, she’ll burn her fingers while smashing his skull, before he has to suffer much worse pain.

The thick iron of the artificial walls, the faded layers of grass bred miles under the surface, just for this one purpose of yet another natural selection for Dreykov’s likes… All is glowing with the flames closing in around her. She can feel the hairs on her neck rise, smoking from the heat.

Still she keeps the door of the elevator open with her good arm, refusing to let it carry her to safety, to care, to the proud shimmer in Dreykov’s eyes and another nightmare to come by.

She shortly wonders if she should try take him with her. Maybe they’ll show mercy for once. He’s stood against her until the very last minute, after all. And even in that last fight she’s been nothing but lucky. It could be her bleeding out on the ground just a few meters away now.

She could try but the girl who’s been trained since before she even had been able to understood why and for what, knows better. The elevator won’t move if she drags him along with her. The doors won’t even close.

Only the strongest survive.

She’s been praying that he’ll pass out in these terrible few seconds of uncertainty, of trying to make a decision that’s long been made for her. She should know better. If a God exists, he has never taken particular interest in her life.

He turns to her, and she can see his eyelids are on fire. His lips form words that she can’t hear with one eardrum ruptured since day 3 and the rising noise of trees falling, barrels exploding, rocks crashing.

Maybe she’ll be able to tell herself for a while that he wants her to run.

But the part of her that turns away and takes the elevator to safety because there’s never been another way for her, knows better.

His last words were that he’ll find her.

She wishes, he could. Probably that’s why she left him alive. For the smallest chance that he’ll come for her, this time without making a stupid mistake. That he’ll be the one to finally put an end to it.

Only there’s no way he’ll make it out of there. There
is no way out. They have made sure.

She won’t sleep better with that knowledge on her mind but that isn’t the point. Nightmares of seeing her lover burn to death is the easiest punishment she can wish for.

***************

Nightmares were hardly a rarity since Washington, but this was the first time Natasha awoke screaming. Still caught up in too bright, too detailed pictures burning behind her closed eyes, she realized too late that she was far too close to the edge of the bed. Before her instincts could kick in, she went to the floor, tangled in sweat stained sheets and landed on the very same shoulder that desperately needed a timeout anyway.

And that had been the last fucking time to take painkillers before going to sleep.

After she could breathe without wincing out in pain again, she left the bedroom to put together some kind of breakfast and a new load of meds. A postcard in her mailbox immediately made her forget about patching up that shoulder new. She couldn’t help but wonder how Steve had found her. It seemed, she had taught him better than she had realized.

Sam and him hadn’t found anything yet, that amateurishly coded card said. He wanted to know if she was okay. Saying they could use a hand. Sure they could.

He was stubborn, she had to give him that. She wondered if he’d still be once he found out the rest about her, all the stuff that was openly out in the world after Washington. And he would. Once they found Barnes and he would go back to a normal life… Steve would get to know the whole truth about her, sooner or later. There probably wouldn’t be postcards with smileys on them then anymore.

Time for another relocation, it seemed. She had waited for weeks, something that was far too dangerous anyway, and by now all hope was gone that at least a message of Clint might eventually catch up with her here. Hell, there was no telling if he was even still alive. Maybe the buzz out there had at least died down enough by now to try and find out that. The nightmares wouldn't go away from sitting and lying around in apathy much longer, that was for sure.

Ignoring her slightly dizzy condition, due to a few days without enough food, as much as the new warm, wet spots staining the bandage under her shirt, Natasha went back to the bedroom to pack her things. If Steve had found out where she was, chances were too big that someone else would too, to linger much longer.
broken_arrow: (smoldering eyes Renner)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-11 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
When she kissed him she still tasted like salt, still tasted like him, and fuck that was hot. All too soon, though, she was pulling away and it was time to get to work before he had to go get more hot water. Wringing out the wash cloth he carefully wiped it over her face, treating her skin like delicate silk. She really was beautiful, the most beautiful person he had ever know, inside and out. He loved that she let him do this, let him touch her and worship her and admire her beauty.

Dunking the cloth again he lifted her hair out of the way with one hand while running the cloth over the back of her neck and one shoulder. He skirted around her bandage, instead ducking his head to place a gentle kiss over it before washing her arm and each individual finger. He couldn’t help himself, couldn’t resist following the cloth and softly kissing each of her fingertips, raising his eyes to her face as he did so.
broken_arrow: (pop collar Renner)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-12 08:31 pm (UTC)(link)
He could feel her shivering, but from the flush of her skin and the look in her eyes he knew it wasn’t because she was cold. It was that knowledge of her that kept him from dropping the whole thing, wrapping her up and moving over to the fire where it was warmer.

She was so beautiful like this, stripped bare, and not just of her clothes. No masks, no walls, no hard shells to protect herself. She was willing and wanting and entirely her, the caring and wonderful woman too few people truly knew.

His eyes dropped to her mouth, to that little smile and the way she worried her lower lip, but immediately found her eyes again following her instant reaction to the touch of his tongue to her finger. That sharp breath, the involuntary movement, and fuck if she wasn’t wet already. He didn’t want to torture here, didn’t want to hold out on her after she had been so accommodating to his needs, but he still had a job to do.

He didn’t spend as much time on her other hand before brushing her hair over on shoulder and angling her forward slightly to scrub down her back, cloth just skimming over the tops of that perfect buttocks of hers before he indicated she lean back again. “Foot,” he instructed, rinsing out the cloth again and tapping one of her legs.
broken_arrow: (top head Renner)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-12 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe it was his turn to make her feel good, but Natasha was never one to just sit back and let it happen like he had. She had to get her shots in too, that teasing, playful side coming out rather strongly as she followed his request in the most provocative way possible. Her foot was a little too close and he could feel his own arousal stirring again, but he forced himself to focus.

“Yeah, that works,” he said, lifting her foot from his leg and taking great care to wash each toe and the space between them before slowly drawing the cloth over her sole and up her leg. When he reached her knee his eyes strayed higher finally and he sucked in a breath. She was wet and slightly swollen and ready for him but he wasn’t even half done. Maybe it was time to speed it up a little.

Ducking his head to nip lightly at her knee, he took a deep breath, inhaling her scent and letting out a low growl in his throat before forcing himself on. When he reached the juncture of her legs he let the edge of the cloth just barely graze her mound before letting go of her leg. “Other one,” he said as he dunked the cloth again, his voice just a little huskier than before.
broken_arrow: (disbelief Clint)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-12 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
This position was more comfortable than the last, but while he didn’t have her teasing toes distracting him she used her lips instead, though thankfully not for long.

Gliding the cloth up her leg, he once again brought it agonizingly close but not close enough before skirting up her side and over her belly. He knew she was getting frustrated, though in the best way possible, so he wouldn’t keep her waiting too much longer, but there was one more spot that needed his attention first. Moving his hand up her abdomen to her chest, he brushed the cloth over one perfect breast, then the other, pinching her nipple just lightly as he passed. Focusing on one with his hand, he dipped his head to capture the other with his lips.
broken_arrow: (bright eyes Renner)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-13 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
She was moaning and writhing and trembling against him and christ if he wasn’t getting turned on all over again. She was so fucking wet against his leg, and her fingers gripping his hair elicited a faint growl against her skin. Keeping one hand on her back to help keep her steady, he caught her nipple between his teeth and tongue, rolling gently.

Whether he was sensing her own need or just growing frustrated himself by the cloth that prevented him from feeling her smooth skin, it wasn’t a moment later that he was dropping the cloth back in the basin beside him so he could run his hand freely over her, cupping her breast and rubbing his thumb over the hardened peak.

Just as she hadn’t kept him waiting, though, he wouldn’t make her ask for it, not tonight. He wanted to make her feel as soon as she had him, so while he kept his mouth busy, his hand roamed down over her flat stomach to finally touch her where she really wanted to be touched, his fingers sliding through her wetness and parting her folds. It felt so good he couldn’t help but moan himself.
broken_arrow: (scruffy Renner)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-14 01:42 pm (UTC)(link)
It had clearly been too long for both of them, as every sensation seemed to be heightened for her as well. He hadn’t meant to make her ask for it, but hearing her practically begging him in that tone of voice definitely brought him to full attention. Growling again against her, a little louder than before, he treated her with more of a bite than a nip, just this side of too hard. He didn’t wait any longer before plunging two fingers into her welcoming heat as deep as they would go, crooking them slightly once they were buried well within her.

“You’re so fucking hot,” his voice rumbled against her as he caught her nipple between his teeth again and gave it a tug. At the same time he found her clit with his thumb and applied pressure.
broken_arrow: (smoldering eyes Renner)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-14 02:50 pm (UTC)(link)
It had been a very long time since he had seen her this wild, this turned on, and he felt a strong sense of pride that it was all because of him. She was clenching hard around his fingers already, her hips bucking against his hand as she swore and growled and holy fuck it was about the sexiest thing in the world.

He didn’t even think of protesting her statement - no, her order, and he moved with her as she repositioned herself, making sure his fingers stayed deeply seated inside of her. If his thumb pressed against her a little harder in the process, well, that could hardly be helped.

When she had made herself more comfortable he grinned widely at her, clearly enjoying the new view before raising his eyes to meet hers. Between the look in her eyes and that teasing brush of her knee he was definitely getting interested again.

“Oh yeah,” he breathed. Now that she had a more solid seat he moved the hand on her back up to tangle in her red curls and pull her into a rough kiss, nipping at her lower lip when he pulled back. “I’m gonna make you come so fucking hard.”

Sliding his hand back down from her hair, he didn’t stop until he reached her perfect ass, his fingers digging in as he grabbed a handful. Squeezing her tightly, he pulled his fingers almost entirely out of her before thrusting in again, just as hard as before, his eyes fixed on her face.
broken_arrow: (upward Renner)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-14 05:32 pm (UTC)(link)
He loved watching her like this, loved seeing that look on her face. It was so rare that Natasha completely let her guard down, but now she was giving herself over to him completely, just letting herself go, and it was the most beautiful sight in the world.

Paying very close attention to both her words and the way her body spoke to him, Clint made sure to angle his fingers just right to hit that sweet spot every time, all the while rubbing her clit in gentle circles with his thumb. When her hand moved to one breast and started to tug and twist her nipple he leaned in again to lavish attention on the other, catching it between his teeth and tugging while flicking the tip rapidly with his tongue. All the talk of further pleasures rolling off her tongue just egged him on and he squeezed her ass again, his fingers moving to slide between her cheeks.
broken_arrow: (knowing grin Renner)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-14 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
When she came she practically gushed over him and he muffled a groan against her breast. She was so tight when she clenched around his fingers and he kept pumping her with shallower, slower strokes until she stopped shuddering, and even then he didn’t pull out just yet.

Following her urging he tilted his head back to kiss her, running his tongue along hers and sucking at her lower lip. Grinning at that one simple word, he opened his eyes to look up at her. “Guess I haven’t lost my touch,” he said, finally sliding his fingers out of her to stroke softly through her folds again.
broken_arrow: (smoldering eyes Renner)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-14 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
“I dunno. Been a long time,” he said, and truer words were never spoken. Far too fucking long, that’s what it had been. Leaning back against the sofa, he took a moment to admire her. Her lips were swollen, her skin flushed, her chest rising and falling a little more rapid than normal. This was an image he wanted to remember, one he wanted to cherish and keep with him wherever he may end up, though he hoped he didn’t end up there alone.

Her words made him chuckle and a wicked grin settled on his lips. “Well, I don’t have to take it that easy,” he replied, dipping his fingers just barely into her again before withdrawing completely. He loved that disappointed noise she had made earlier when he’d pulled out, the one that seemed to say that she wanted him inside her, always. He wasn’t doing it to deprive her, though, and his arm moved around her, his well lubed fingers taking the place of his others between her ass cheeks. “And I know you can be gentle...”

Not that what they’d done so far hadn’t been fantastic, but he wasn’t ready for it to be over yet, and she had felt so good clenching around his fingers. He wanted more.
broken_arrow: (Clint Nat hug)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-15 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Silly and reckless was part of his charm, Clint figured, and it was something he had no plans of growing out of any time soon, especially when it felt this good. Watching her react to his every touch was nearly as arousing as her own touches. Nearly. Sucking in a sharp breath when she wrapped her hand around him again, he kept his eyes on her face, willing her to give in.

No, gentle wasn’t something they had really done in the past when it came to sex, but he knew she could be gentle, knew from all the times she had cleaned and stitched him up after a mission. Her hands were weapons, dangerous and deadly, yet soft and caring when she wanted them to be. Just like the rest of her.

When she finally gave in Clint felt an excited stir in his stomach and he obeyed instantly, spreading his legs wider. He wanted her so bad and he was grateful that she didn’t draw this out; only seconds later she was sinking down over him, engulfing him in her wet heat, and he let out a low moan as she did so. Burying his face in her beautiful breasts when she clenched around him, he squeezed her buttocks with one hand and wrapped the other arm around her, holding her tight against him. For a long time he didn’t move, just held her and relished in the feel of her, how she trembled in his arms and squeezed him gently.

“Christ, I’ve missed this,” he muttered against her, rolling his hips just a little before stilling his movements again. “You feel so fucking good.”
broken_arrow: (sexy hand)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-15 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)
She didn’t have to ask twice. Clint repeated the move, groaning in pleasure as she pressed down to meet him at the same time. He could feel her slowly loosening up, her worries fading as he showed her he was fine and reminded her how good this felt. It was the same but different, and no less amazing.

When she pushed back against his hand he could certainly take the hint, but it took him a moment to respond when she picked up that rhythm and he had the clenching of her muscles and that sexy fucking moaning to adjust to. “Oh fuck,” he muttered when she started talking dirty in his ear. She knew damn well that was one of his sensitive areas, and when she started nibbling on his earlobe he had to force some rather unsexy thoughts into his head so he didn’t end this too quickly on his part.

Remembering himself, he slid his hand lower, his finger brushing against where they joined together and around her folds to get newly lubed. “If you put your foot on the cough beside me you might get better leverage,” he suggested in a stilted tone as he circled his fingers around her asshole. He didn’t know if the change of position would help her, or if she even needed it as much as she seemed to be enjoying herself, but he’d never been good at keeping his thoughts to himself. He rolled his hips again, falling into rhythm with her as he continued to massage her hole before pushing just the very tip of one finger inside, stopping at the first sign of resistance.
broken_arrow: (upward Renner)

[personal profile] broken_arrow 2014-06-15 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
“Until you manage to short my brain out,” Clint chuckled in return. Keeping his hands in place when she moved, he growled a little in his throat when she started riding him in earnest now, her muscles bearing down on him hard, making her feel so incredibly tight.

He tried to bury his face in her chest again but her not so gently grip in his hair had him looking up at her and he was instantly transfixed. The gentle prompting brought him back around and he remembered what he had been doing before. Moving his free hand to her butt as well he started massaging the puckered skin around his finger as he pushed deeper and pulled back before pushing deeper still, his finger moving in time with the rhythm they’d already set with their hips.

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